All of me Ch 5
by CandyStars121
Summary: Charlie & Bass go on an excursion together. There's Alcohol, a Boat, and a lot of truth telling. Pls check my other story listings for prior chapters, will add this ch there when I can get to a computer.


A/N: My sincerest apologies for taking so damn long to update. I've been dealing with a major crapstorm with my family, and lost my writing mojo for a while there...fortunately it seems to be back. I can't promise super frequent updates because I'm without internet at home until we get moved into our new place, but I'll be doing my best to get at least 1 chapter per week posted until it's complete.

Charlie quickly grabbed up her pack and moved to the kitchen, reaching up in the pantry to grab one of the numerous bottles of bourbon Hannah and Chris had stored there. They were fortunate enough to have Chris' brother Andrew living nearby who had taken over the family farm and re-learned how to make the spirit without the use of modern equipment and had an ever replenishing stock.

She loathed to admit it, having given her uncle enough crap to last a lifetime about his drinking, that she herself had become a rather well functioning alcoholic in the days since the tower. Once she had, she started to understand a bit more just why Miles drank so much. It didn't make everything go away, but it sure as hell numbed it for a while. And she had a feeling, that it was definitely going to be necessary for both her and Monroe to get through this conversation.

After she had made them a couple of sandwiches and tossed them in her pack with a couple pieces of fruit from the basket on the counter, she made her way outside where she found Monroe perched on one of the porch steps, looking deep in thought. She had almost turned around to head back inside and leave him to himself for a bit when he quickly stood and reached for her shoulder.

"So, where are we headed?" he asked when she had turned back and started down the steps.

"A few miles out of town. There's a place that's quiet that I would go hang out at to just think when I was here before. Good place for us to talk, and no one goes there anymore."

They spent the next hour or so walking casually to get there, going back and forth about their pre-blackout favorites...ice cream flavor, pizza toppings, movies, cartoons, with lots of extended information from Bass about things that she had no memory of.

Once they arrived, Charlie climbed down the rocks, avoiding the half rotted wooden stairway that was at one time used to access the area. She had been told that it had been a tourist spot before the blackout and that people paid money to be taken through the caves. Not that she didn't think they were awesome, and a rather beautiful sight but she never quite understood why people had to pay money to see something that was a part of nature.

When they reached the overgrown grassy part next to the river, Bass plopped down on a rock. Charlie turned to look at him. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, sitting" he said it more like a question.

"Nope, get up, we're going in" she pointed to the cave entrance.

Bass shook his head "Oh hell no, I agreed to talk, I didn't agree on going for a swim in this nasty ass water" he said as he kicked a rock from the river bank into the water, watching it skip a couple of times before sinking below the surface.

She rolled her eyes and threw her hands on her hips, "I never said anything about swimming." At that she took off further down the embankment walking away from the cave towards a small grouping of trees. He followed, but not too close behind her, still wondering what she was up to. She disappeared behind the trees for a couple of minutes before reappearing dragging out a old metal dinghy that was in rather good condition thanks to a tarp that had been used to keep it covered and out of the weather.

Slipping it into the water and grabbing the paddles that were secured inside of it, she looked up and smiled at him. "See, no need to get wet. Go on, get in" she said, holding it steady for him.

Bass laughed "ahh...sending me up a creek without a paddle Charlotte? Here, I'll hold it, you get in first" he said, leaning over and taking her place.

Without question, she climbed in and up to the front seat, handing a second paddle back to him once he got in. They made their way up the short distance to cave and entered, just across from the entrance was a bare piece of rock formation that she steered the boat towards it. She hopped out and tossed a rope over one of the boulders to hold it in place, and set down her pack, pulling out an oil lantern and lighting it before settling down on the ground and pulling out the bottle of bourbon and their sandwiches. He stood there for a few minutes staring around him in awe before he stepped in front of her, taking one of the sandwiches from her outstretched hand.

"If there's one thing I've learned about drinking, don't do it on an empty stomach" she said, taking a bite of the sandwich before picking up the bottle and taking a swig and handing it off to Bass. He took it from her and sat down next to her, leaning back against the cave wall.

"So..." he started.

"So, you gonna tell me why you've gone from General Monroe, feared leader of the Republic to wanting to end it all...or should I say practically begging me to do it for you?"

"What's to explain? I already told you, it was my job to protect the people of the Republic, in my stupid pursuit of getting even more power, in both ways, I got a few hundred thousand of people killed or so sick that they're dying from the fallout. And not just the Republic, look at Atlanta. Thanks to me I wiped out a thriving city that had actually managed to successfully start trading with Europe. If I would have been smart, I would have tried to work with Kelly rather than just take everything over. She was a good leader Charlotte, and now because of me, she's gone, they're all just gone. I know I don't deserve to be here. I should have been there in Philly and burned up with all of them."

Charlie looked over at him and could see the pain he felt so clearly on his face and by the tears in his eyes.

"Listen, Bass" Charlie stopped for just a moment at the realization that she had called him that but quickly recovered, trying to ignore the wide eyes that he was giving her in response to hearing her say it "what happened in the tower that day, changed a lot...for all of us that were there. Before then, everything was black and white to me. Me, Miles, Nora, Aaron, my mom, the rebels...we were the good guys and you and the militia, you were the bad guys. It all seemed so one way or the other, there was no middle ground for me. Once we got out and headed to my grandpa's in Texas, things started to change for me. I still hated you, still blamed you for my father, still blamed you for Danny...but in reality, there are so many people that could be blamed for either of those things. For all of it really. The blackout wouldn't have happened if it weren't for the code Aaron wrote, it wouldn't have happened if my mother and father hadn't used it for some project, and then sold out the project to save my brother. If the blackout didn't happen, you and Miles wouldn't have come looking for us and the two of you would have never started the Republic in the first place."

She laid her head back against the rock and looked over at Bass, whose eyes were intently focused on her. Taking another couple of sips from the bottle before handing it to him, she took a deep breath readying herself to continue. She'd never laid these thoughts out for anyone before, not even Miles, and the fact that she was doing it now, with him, was more than a little scary to her.

"I just think that a lot of people made a lot of really bad decisions, whether they thought they were making the right ones at the time or not. There isn't just one person responsible for everything, not even you. As nice as it would be to have one person to blame everything on, it just isn't the truth. And yeah, even knowing these things I still came after you to kill you but I think more than anything you just gave me a purpose. Something to make me feel like I was still moving forward. But because I did realize all of this, I don't think...I mean, even if I would have found you not sitting there with a gun about to kill yourself I doubt that I would have been able to pull the trigger on that bow any more than Miles was able to kill you when he left the Republic."

Closing her eyes she sat in silence, waiting for his response. She knew she laid a lot on him and that it might take him a while to process it all, so they just sat there in the quiet passing the bottle back and forth for what felt like hours to her. Eventually she pulled a bag of jerky from her pack and the fruit and finished it off before he finally said anything.

"Why, Charlotte, why?" she looked over at him, to find his eyes closed and him shaking his head like he still couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"Why what?"

"Even if I'm not responsible for everything, I am still guilty of being the reason you were without your mother for years and why you lost your dad and Danny. So why couldn't you kill me? You don't owe me anything, and it would only be fair...an eye for an eye and all that."

She knew this was going to come up, and had already decided that there was no point not being honest with him.

"Because, I forgive you." She watched his head snap up and his eyes go wide at her words.

"Why would you forgive me? I don't deserve it...I've done nothing to earn your forgiveness."

"Well, when I was standing there, about to pull that trigger I remembered something. A pre-blackout something" she smiled at him, wondering if he'd remember on his own. "I once promised you that I would be your family...and that's what families do, they forgive each other, no matter what horrible things they've done. I forgave Miles for his part in everything without even thinking twice about it. You, it may have taken a while longer" she shrugged "and a couple of murder attempts...but I'm finally at a point where I can do that now. But I can guarantee you this, if you ever go back to being that General Monroe again...I won't be so quick to forgive next time. The tower gave you something that not many people get. A chance to start over, so don't waste it. Go somewhere no one knows you, meet someone, start a family...something that will give your life meaning."

What she really wanted to say was stay, to tell him to come back to Willoughby with her and that they'd all figure it out together. But she knew it was a ridiculous notion and that there was a big chance that taking him back to Miles and her mom would only cause more problems. And if he really planned on living a different life, then he deserved a chance to do that free of the constant reminder of his past mistakes...even if that included her. The best she could do for him is forgive him, and send him on his way, wishing him the best.

Noticing the shift in the sunlight in the cave, she packed up the now empty bottle and stood to collect the lantern.

"We should probably get back if I'm going to have any time hunting for something." When she turned around to grab her pack, she was surprised to find him standing right behind her. He reached up and brushed his hand over her shoulder and down her arm, stopping where his thumb grazed the militia brand, turning her wrist to look at it.

"It may have been a long time ago that you made that promise, but I remember it. I'm just sorry that I didn't live up to being the family you needed. I hope you can believe me someday, that I don't want to be that person anymore. The only thing being General Monroe got me was a whole lot of misery. I don't deserve a second chance, but thank you for giving me one. I promise I won't let you down."


End file.
